I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
