he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
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Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
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You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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