hell yes lets make some ravioli
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
