I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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