Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
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mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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