I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
