nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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