i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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