Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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