Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.