He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
We need to know if his feet match his cock.