just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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