fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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