He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
