I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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