Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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