Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
