it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
You need Xanax blowdarts
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
