Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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