I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
