So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
