dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
