The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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