It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
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If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
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I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
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