Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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