You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
