I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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