We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
