I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
