I hate all girls vehemently.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize