You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
then he tried to convert me to islam
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Randomize
