so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
high people should be assigned attendants
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
