Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
