Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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