Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
