How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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