I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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