Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
