um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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