I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize