So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Randomize