She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
