I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
