I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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