Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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