i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
