he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
