Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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