Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Boobs speak an international language.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
