I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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