So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
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