Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
