i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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