I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i will never coherently bang her
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
