You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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