You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
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There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
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