Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
