i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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